When I first started this blog, I knew I wanted to do it but I wasn’t sure why. I wasn’t sure who I was writing it to. To my family – an easy way for them to look at photos and hear about what I’d been up to? To strangers, to tell them what I think about make up? Who?
But it hit me recently that actually, I write this to myself – or to my future self, maybe – because so much is happening all the time, and I’m scared that if I don’t capture it somehow I’ll just forget it, and all those happy little moments, little pieces of time, will get lost in the ether somewhere, and I’ll be sitting in a room somewhere in the future saying ‘Was it 2013 that I went to Liverpool? And where did we eat?’ and I won’t know, and the thought of that makes me sad.
So this post is about Christmas and New Year 2013, which has been one of the best breaks of my life. When I finished work on the 23rd December I felt burnt out, and tired, and demoralised and old. I was worried about things like what I weighed, and what other people thought of me, and I couldn’t get into the festive spirit. The second I got home to my family, all that changed.
I had such a good Christmas this year. There was the traditional night out with my friends (we finally swapped the full on Santa outfits for something a little more grown up…but kept the hats!)
And a buffet with one of my oldest family friends, who finally met my boyfriend, which was nice…
Christmas Eve with my best friends, where I got some great presents.
Then we had Christmas Day itself. We usually spend it with my cousins, so this year was a little unusual in that two of them were in Australia watching the cricket and so the other spent it with his girlfriend and her family. However, my Aunt still came over, and my sister’s boyfriend was there, and we still ate enough food to sink a small ship and played Logo and Pit (if you’ve never played Pit – it honestly is the best game of all time. Just trust me and get it). My parents spoilt us to death with presents, as ever, and it was all lovely...
At the end of the day my Dad was walking my Aunt down to the car and slipped and fell over. It turned out that it was just a nasty knee injury, but for a few moments, I was genuinely frightened that he had seriously hurt himself. I know it sounds silly, but in that moment I realised how ridiculous it was to worry about whether I weighed five pounds more or less, or all the other trivial things that bother me on an every day basis. So long as my friends and family are happy and healthy, does it really matter? I’m going to try to hold onto that.
I spent Boxing Day sale shopping and eating more, then on the 27th headed down to Sheffield to stay with my boyfriend and his family.
It was so nice driving up to their house in the late evening, coming in from the cold to a warm cosy living room where they spoilt me with mince pies and presents. We spent the next few days immersed in family life, going for walks in the gorgeous Peak District countryside and eating too much in cosy pubs, playing table tennis on their dining room table and watching films (The Break Up is brilliant!)
Before heading back to London for New Year’s Eve. We started at mine, playing Ring of Fire, eating pizza and drinking champagne on my balcony as the clock struck twelve.
Then we headed over to Brixton for a brilliant, messy house party – the kind that makes you feel really young again. Like all the worries in the world are trivial and silly. We got home in the early hours and my boyfriend and I spent the entire following day in bed, watching the storm outside, ordering a Chinese and watching the last Harry Potter film curled up in our living room.
It was the perfect holiday. I feel like I really, properly relaxed for the first time in…a long time. I stopped focusing on my weight and – guess what? – my clothes still fit and I don’t really look any different. And work wise…it’s made me realise that I probably need to make some changes going forwards. But most importantly it’s reminded me that in general I am really, really happy. This quote probably sums it up, so I’ll finish up with that, and just say happy new year, and I hope 2014 is my year, and yours too!