1. It's JUNE, why is it literally like Mordor outside? I don't want to go to a festival in this weather - I want to stay in bed. I'm going to Coachella next year to wear denim cut offs and stand near minor celebrities and sleep in a hotel with a swimming pool.
2. Every year I haven’t been to Glastonbury I swear they’ve had brilliant sunshine. Life is literally so unfair.
3. The weather must be wrong, they can’t know for SURE. And also it’s different on every website I look at. And changes every hour. And God can't be that cruel.
4. ASOS next day delivery: anorak and waterproof trousers. Just to be safe.
5. And also an Aztec crop top. Essential. I’ll definitely wear it again. Probably.
6. Is five packets of baby wipes and six different anti bac hand gels overkill?
7. Oh, sweet, sweet shower. How I will miss you. I can’t wait to look like an under slept zombie on Sunday. Maybe I should add a hat to my ASOS order.
8. Are those gold tattoo things still cool or is that Coachella levels of try hard? Obviously flower crowns are so 2012. Am I too old to wear a choker?
9. Face paint will definitely work well after six ciders.
10. Must eat healthily in the run up as despite there being 5000 food stalls I will inevitably exist on chips and bacon rolls for five days.
11. Time to panic buy cereal bars.
12. Don’t want to pack. Don’t want to get up at 5am on Wednesday for a festival that doesn’t start till the Friday. Don’t want to queue to get in. Don’t want to think about lugging 30 cans of cider across a muddy bog to a tent pitched 45 minutes from anywhere a normal person would want to be.
13. Why am I doing this to myself?
14. Listens to Spotify.
15. Can we go yet?